Ophoria Beyond 3

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Identity

One of the things that's been bouncing around my head a lot lately is the idea of Identity. More specifically, I've been thinking about the identities I have and what it means for me or anyone at all to have an identity.

I'm a Political Scientist by training (well, I'm still training, but all the same) and a Sociologist in my head, so to me identity is the way individuals label themselves as part of specific groups. Identity tells us what roles we're supposed to fill in our day to day life and they tell other people what to expect from us. In politics, identity seems to very heavily influence how we vote and what we believe. Identity can be so strong that people who identify with one party will continue to vote for that party even when it stops reflecting their best interests. Identity can also help politicians win voters by performing the identity of those whose votes they hope to influence, Republicans seem exceptionally good at this. George W. Bush gained popularity among many people in this country by identifying himself as a middle class mid-westerner, despite the fact that his family is very wealthy and from New England. People who identify as middle-class and from the mid-west (that's a lot of people, including many people who are actually decently wealthy and who don't actually live in the mid-west) saw that, and believed they knew something about the person Bush was based on what they assume about people who have that identity, people like them.

The role of identity in politics however is not what I mean to talk about right now.

What I want to talk about is what it means to have an identity, and what we do when we have an identity but don't fit what people expect of that identity.

I've been thinking about this since one day in a class on the Sociology of Sexuality we were discussing sexual subcultures and I realized that I belonged to all of the sexual subcultures listed in some way. That I identified with the label given to that sub culture, and that when we were talking about these sexual subcultures in the abstract we were talking about me, and lots of people who aren't me. Then, yesterday I read Essin-Em's post on Femme identity and the topic was even more ingrained in my thoughts. So, I discussed the whole thing with a few people, and after some kind of confusing conversations I think I have some thoughts.

On one side, identities are very important. For one thing, categorizing things helps us understand the world. But much more importantly having identities allows those of us who don't have the privilege of being default people to feel like we have a place. It's much more comfortable to be able to tell yourself that you're part of a group than it is to simply realize that you're not part of the dominant group.

Being able to name the things I am has always been very important to me. I was rather sheltered in my youth, so my world was totally rocked when my best friend informed me, in a very matter-of-fact way, that one of her friends at school was bisexual. I didn't even know that that was a thing, and it made me so excited to know that it wasn't just me who was attracted to boys and attracted to girls. Since then my sexual identity has progressed in to something a bit more complicated, but it remains important to me to know that there are other people like me.

Having an identity is, to me at least, having a place. And having words for what I am makes me feel less alone. However, it's important to realize that we still have identities that we don't necessarily embrace in the same way. I'm white, this is an identity I have, but because the rest of the culture expects and privileges whiteness, if I'm not paying attention it's very easy to not think about that identity. It isn't important to me, but I can't ignore the fact that the rest of the world sees that identity and treats me differently because of it. In fact, since I have a boyfriend I generally read as straight and as such enjoy much of straight privilege but since I embrace my not-straight identity it makes me uncomfortable when people assume that I'm straight. Whiteness however is just there. I think to some extent this is why people who are closer to the default person can have a hard time understanding why identity is important, but the fact that society expects something else is what's important about having identities.

On the other hand, identities can be dangerous. Trying to define what it means to have a specific identity for anyone but yourself lends itself to creating very specific boxes that just continue to leave other people out. Also, identifying as certain things and displaying that identity can cause people to think things that are very untrue about you. Of course, we can fight negative stereotypes, but what do we do when other people who share our identity decide that people who are like us can't be people like them? What do we do when people assume having one identity means you can't have another? I'm not really sure, but I think it's something to keep in mind. Identities are limiting if we use them as just a different paradigm to tell us what we have to be.

There's a lot more to say in here, but I think this is enough for now. Expect more later.

Welcome

So, I've been kicking a lot of things around in my head lately and most of the time there's no way to get them out. I've been meaning to do this blogging thing for quite a while and blogging, it seems to me, is a good way to get all of these things out of my head. So, here we go.

First things first. This blog is going to be largely about sex and politics. Those are broad and often controversial topics. I reserve the right to delete comments as I see fit and change the "comments policy" as it were as the blog develops. Another topic that will come up frequently will be fat, in the Fat Acceptance way. I write about the things I am, not necessarily about my life, but the stuff I'm drawn to is the stuff that affects me. Who I am is a sexual, political, fat girl who has no intention of shutting up. Deal with it, or stop reading.

Give Me Fever Contest

Sextoy.com’s “Give me Fever”— Sex Toys Giveaway Contest!

Spring is finally upon us, the time when lovers get frisky and people’s minds turn to sex! To help get you motivated and to celebrate May as Masturbation Month, Sextoy.com is partnering with the Pleasurists.com for the “Give me Fever”— Sex Toys Giveaway Contest with $500 in prize package swag giveaways!

The Prize Packages!

1st Prize- Fetish Fantasies- Value $220

• Fantasy sex swing - black by Pipe Dreams - $130
• Fetish fantasy bed restraint bondage kit by Eldorado- $40
• Leather Cockring With Micro-Vibrator by California Exotics- $25
• Ryder - Midnight Purple by Tantus- $25

2nd Prize- Sexy Girl Bling- Value $145

• Ultimate Clit Caresser - Clear Aurora by Arabesque - $100
• Sinsation Glass G-spot Dildo by Ruby Glass- $20
• Goddess Gold Condom Compact by Just in Case- $25

3rd Prize- Couples Fun- $110

• Don Wand Colbalt Blue Plug by Don Wand- $20
• Rock Chick Pink G-Spot Vibrator Adult Sex Toy Kit by MBS- $70
• OOOOH! THAT’S IT! GSPOT GEL (1 oz) by Intimate Organics- $20

The Rules!

• You must 18+ to enter.
• You must be willing to provide your mailing address if you win so Sextoy.com can send you your sexy swag prizes.
• To enter simply repost this contest (complete guidelines) any time between May 1st and May 25th on your blog or a forum or elsewhere where you have permission (no spamming and post cannot be in comments sections of blogs) and email submission AT pleasurists.com with a link to the repost.
• If you have a preference for which prize you would like to be sent feel free to include that with your post or in the email with your repost link, we will take it into consideration when choosing the winners (though there’s no guarantee). Listing First, Second, and Third choice of prize package would be helpful!
• Submissions must be posted on or between May 1st and May 30th to qualify
• You must email your submission to submission AT pleasurists.com by May 30th at 11:59pm Pacific Time.

Winners will be chosen by random number generator, numbered by the order in which the emails are received. Each winner will be given their first choice prize if possible, or second or third if not. Winners will be announced on May 31st!

Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere!

Earlier today I went out and bought Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby's new book Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere and I am so excited to read it. The Fat Acceptance movement has been an important part of my life since I discovered it, leading me to finally stop hating my body and as such start to step away from distructive eating habits and really enjoy life for the first time in a while. It's been difficult, but these women's blogs (as well as others like them) have helped me so much and I am excited to see that they have published a book and am glad to have been able to give them something back buy buying their book. 

Condom Commercials!

Saw this Indian condom commercial at Womanist Musings and thought it was a wonderful place for me to start blogging again. 

Weird Indian Condom Commercial

It's amusing, lighthearted, fun, simple, and informative. And like Renee, I think it's something that we should probably seek to emulate in our own attempts at educating people. Now, I'm not totally sure that this commercial actually aired on television in India, especially given the diagram of anal intercourse between two men, but that's not really the point. Things that are funny, entertaning, and can hold the interest of the target audience make it more likely for people to pay attention, and making it funny and lighthearted takes a bit of the awkward out of it. However, it seems to me that a lot of the time when we attempt to create materials that will engage young people enough that they will actually learn what we're trying to teach, the result tends to be corny, outdated, or otherwise something that young people will be too busy laughing at to get any of the message. Some of this I'm sure comes from the general attitude among teenagers that learning things isn't important, that they know everything already, and that whatever concequences exist don't matter because it won't happen to them (this is a gross generalization of teenagers, I know). The rest however, and the part we need to be concerned with, is because we don't know how to reach them and keep throwing the same tired strategies at them over and over again. Maybe if we attempt something like this, silly but straightforward, not taking itself too seriously, and kinda catchy, we'll actually get somewhere. 

I will leave you with this durex ad that probably everyone on earth has seen, but I think is one of the most amusing and clever condom commercials I've ever seen.

Trying

Okay peoples. For the rest of this month, I will try try try to write/post once a day. No promises as to the quality of content...but there will be something here, every day. 

Something more real will be showing up later today, for now...just making this statement so I have written it somewhere and am as such more likely to actually do it.